Ask StarGazer, Enchanted Orange Cat
StarGazer, Enchanted Orange Cat, delights in answering your questions. Her fee is $9 per question, which she donates to Cat rescue.
Simply email her at StarGazer@HeartsContent.net following your payment!
You will receive her playful, intuitive reply in due time (usually within a week, ed.)
Feel free to peruse some previous Questions and Answers below.

Questions & Answers

Dear StarGazer,
How can cats growl and purr at the same time?  And why does my cat attack my legs?     ~ Jessica

Dear Jessica,
It’s most excellent that you noticed that many cats can growl and purr simultaneously.  We growl with our fierce throats and purr with our sinuous bodies.  It is a fine, very fine feeling to enjoy our ancestral ferocity.  Growling and Purring, Purring and Growling.  It’s delicious just thinking about it.  Similarly, attacking human legs, especially in a manner surprising to the humans, is part of our play and necessary to keep ourselves sharp and humans alert.  Pay Attention!

Please profusely thank the next cat that growls, purrs or attacks you.

Best Wishes,
StarGazer, E.O.C.

Dear StarGazer,
Does one of my boyfriends love me?  P.S. My first boyfriend is Henry and the other one is Jackson.     ~ Amy

Dear Amy,
All questions of love are very interesting to me.  I am so very glad you asked me who loves you.  I would choose Henry as the one who loves you, although Jackson thinks you’re cute and rather fun.  However, the most important question is who do you love?  This would be a fine question to ask yourself.

Yours in Love,
StarGazer, E.O.C.

Dear StarGazer,
Am I going to win the bet at school on the Jets going to the Super Bowl?
~ Alex

Dear Alex,
I have never received a question concerning the Super Bowl.  After all, a football is nearly the size of a cat!  We rarely play with such large toys.  Still, all questions interest me to some extent.  I appreciate your respect concerning my abilities to foretell the future.  I have contacted a black cat who lives with a Jet player’s family in order to answer your question.  He says, “The Jets will go to the Super Bowl if they play an opposing team that they can overwhelm with energetic power; however, if they play a team that is very clever strategically (as most cats are), they will have a difficult time winning.

Best Wishes,
StarGazer, E.O.C.

Dear StarGazer,
How old is God?     ~ Maggie

Dear Maggie,
Thank you for your divine question.  I too once pondered the question of how old God might be.  For an entire year.  I think perhaps God’s age is indescribable in words and therefore cannot be answered.  Perhaps it can only be dreamed upon.  Or perhaps a child might know.

We did discuss it once at a meeting of The Orange Cat Contingency.  It was quite a long meeting as you may imagine.  No conclusive answer was decided upon; however, we found the question very captivating.  And then we had something good to eat and later napped.

Yours in the Mystery of God, the Creation of Cats, People and Everything Else,
~ StarGazer, E.O.C.

Dear StarGazer,
Why does my cat sit on my newspaper when I’m trying to read?     ~Janelle

Dear Janelle,
I am familiar with the endearing habit of many cats who sit on their human’s reading material.  They and I both find this a convenient way to absorb the meaning of the words while reading their person’s mind and thoughts.  It’s an instantaneous process so after the initial reading (paper and person), we often enjoy keeping the humans on their toes about the Divine Way of Cat.  The Cosmic Purr, one might say.

Best Wishes,
StarGazer, E.O.C.

Dear StarGazer,
Did the fairies return Carol Ann’s money?     ~ Holly and Carol Ann

Dear Holly and Carol Ann,
Your Money was returned by The Mysterious Force of the Golden Coins.  In modern times, golden coin means dollar bills.  The Fairies are part of the coalition of The Mysterious Force of the Golden Coins as are Gnomes, Hermits and Dragons. Your money was returned to you so you would believe in the mysterious forces of the magical world.

Yours in The Mysterious Force of the Golden Coins,
StarGazer, E.O.C.

“There is no use trying,” said Alice; “one can’t believe impossible things.” “I dare say you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen.
“When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day.
Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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